53 Nurse Pick Up Lines That Really Work Every Time

Nurse pick up lines

If you’re single, the easiest way to impress other nurses is to have the best nurse pick-up lines. You want to show your interest and make fun at the same time.

If you’re having a tough day, you want to make the patients feel at ease as you pull the lines to your crush. Ready to take their serotonin on hype?

For some folks, things can get tricky here.

After all, you may not know how things will go until you try.

The last thing you want to do is to mess up when the person of your dreams walks into your life. You don’t want them to turn down your request too.

The best nurse pickup lines shouldn’t leave your crush indifferent. Instead, they should be charming to make their heart skip a bit. A witty opening line never disappoints.

To help you get started, we’ve gathered a list of lines where a reply is guaranteed.

Funny Nurse Pick-Up Lines

1. Do you have a Band-Aid, ma’am? I must have scraped my knee, falling for you.

2. I’m water, and you’re sodium. Wherever you go, I go.

3. You take my breath away. I undergo anaerobic respiration when I’m with you.

4. I don’t need an IV for fluids, just your phone number.

5. You’re so caring. If I were in a hospital, I’d choose you.

6. I’ve just seen my life flashing before my eyes. Do you work in the ER?

7. I’m sure you make all patients smile by looking at you.

8. My blood turns red when I think of you. And you make me feel weak at the knees.

See also: Best Shoes for Nurses With Knee Pain

9. My permeable membrane lets you through. Could you be the one for me?

10. My protracted cardiac arrhythmia says I love you.

11. We have so much in common – you breathe oxygen.

12. You took my breath away. Do you have an inhaler?

13. You smell great, or is there a problem with my olfactory?

14. We share the same chemistry. Did we go to school together?

15. You look very hot. Can I take your temperature?

16. Want to study anatomy? I can help with the bones.

17. My heart skipped a bit for you. Call an ambulance.

18. Are you a cardiac nurse? You’ve just arrested my heart.

19. I need an inhaler; you’ve taken my breath away.

20. They hired you to bring in more patients. You’re too hot.

21. I keep falling for you, and you’ve destroyed my vestibulocochlear nerve.

22. You’re too hot because you gave me a fever.

23. Your legs must be tired. You’ve been running through my mind all day.

24. Can we exchange our genetic information?

25. You’ve given me a serious bone condition. Is your name Osteoporosis?

26. I enjoy the way you make me vasodilate.

27. You take away my soul. Do you have COPD?

28. If I were a coronary artery, I’d love to be wrapped around your heart

29. I’d be glad if you show me how to do mouth-to-mouth.

30. You don’t have to go to the pharmacy; love is the only drug we need.

31. You’ve just cured my erectile dysfunction. Are you a nurse?

32. I’m ready to know your body than you do. I’m a medic.

33. I have just diagnosed you with a cute smile.

Cheesy Nurse Pick-Up Lines

Being a medic can be stressful. If you want to lighten someone’s mood, cheesy nurse pick-up lines are the way to go.

1. I don’t want an apple daily to ensure you don’t go away.

This cheesy line means you always want to see your crush. You can say this as you take an apple – she won’t stop laughing.

2. I’d happily give you my heart, but I’m no organ donor.

This line shows your attention only belongs to her.

A body organ is precious, so you only give to those who matter.

3. Don’t stress about pharmacology. The only drug you need is love.

This line shows you love her.

4. You’re too sweet. I will get diabetes.

If you have a history of diabetes, you must adopt a healthy lifestyle. You don’t want her love to affect your blood sugar.

See also: Nursing Care Plan for Diabetes

5. Could you be a cure for Alzheimer’s disease? You’re unforgettable.

This cheesy nurse pickup line shows that your crush makes a huge impact on your life. She never left her mind ever since the first time you laid eyes on her.

6. Can you check my heartbeat? It’s beating too fast for you.

Seeing your crush nearby brings butterflies to your stomach. It’s a classic line that never goes out of style.

7. I feel ready to give you a stroke. Are you having a berry aneurysm?

8. Want to play with my corpus cavernosum?

9. I’m an EMT if you want to feel safe tonight.

10. You better be taking folic acid. I’m ready to make you pregnant.

Male Nurse Pick Up Lines

1. I’m developing astigmatism. With you, I can see clearer.

This line is sweet and thoughtful to tell a man. The perfect way to treat astigmatism is by using the right eyeglasses and contact lenses.

When you’re with him, everything makes sense.

2. I don’t want to get better if it means never seeing you again.

Imagine how it feels never to see your crush again.

3. I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

This line tells a guy he should be one with you.

4. Did you hear that? My heart murmurs with love.

The only way to hear the heart murmur is with a stethoscope. This line shows you like a guy.

See also: Do Nurses Use Stethoscopes?

5. There’s something in your eye. Oh wait, it’s just a sparkle.

This is a simple way to check whether your crush likes you. It would be a dream come true.

6. Hey, Mister! You’re making me breathless. Are you a pulmonary embolism?

This pick line will wow a nurse you have a crush on.

7. Are you drowning? I’m ready to give you CPR.

Your crush is probably downing on paperwork. Maybe you have a pushy boss. CPR will make her feel relaxed.

8. I have fallen for you. You better call life alert.

It takes a brave man to admit he needs assistance. It’s a line to show you have fallen in love.

9. You’re in the wrong profession. You should be my partner.

Getting him to be your partner is a dream come true.

10. My love for you is burning stronger than UTI.

It shows you have a burning sensation for the human of your dreams.

Conclusion: Good Nurse Pick Up Lines

Whether heading out to an annual holiday bash or a med school party, medical humor is appreciated when you meet “The One.”

The above nursing pickup lines will make an impression on the person you have your eyes on. They won’t just brighten their mood but also catch their attention.

You can save them on your phone – check every time you want to put a smile on her face.

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About Ida Koivisto, BSN, RN, PHN

Ida is both a registered nurse and public health nurse. Her passion is to provide as much valuable information about nursing to the world as possible. In her spare time from work and blogging, Ida loves to work out at the gym and spend time with relatives.